Baseball Moms

As you all may have seen, Arthur and I placed the boys into their first season of t-ball. I signed up to be Team Mom after our coach sent out an email pretty much begging for volunteers. I figured dance team was coming to an end for the year, and I love building a sense of camaraderie.

After the boys' first practice, I slowly realized this was going to be stressful.

No, it's not the scheduling.

No, it's not the constant communication of texts and emails I have to send.

No, it's not the time involved.

It's the other moms. Yes, the Anthem Hills/Green Valley moms.

When Christopher and I first moved to Seven Hills, I felt like I finally had "made it". We live in a beautiful area with some of the best schools in all of the valley. I am grateful every morning for the life we lead.

We both also teach in very low-socioeconomic areas. I'm fully aware of the type of environment my students are raised in. It has humbled me, and helped create even more empathy in me than I knew was possible.

Because of this. I was caught off-guard by the way a lot of mothers spoke when I met them at the first practice. I wish I could re-enact for you the way their shrill voices sounded.

For example, there's another mom on the team with twins. This was an actual conversation we had--

Me: When were your boys born?

Her: Well, twins are typically born prematurely, so their actual due date was in November, but they were born in September. So, we celebrate in September, obviously.

YOU GUYS. SERIOUSLY? DID SHE ACTUALLY JUST SAY THIS TO ME? 

Me: Are yours identical or fraternal?

Her: They have to do blood work for that, so I don't officially know. What I can tell you is that they had separate placentas, but it was a very thin divide, so who knows? What about you? Identical?

Me: Fraternal.

OKAY, I NEED TO WALK AWAY FROM THIS PERSON AND TRY ANOTHER MOM TO SPEAK WITH.

The next mom appeared sweet, and was sitting alone, so I figured I would sit by her and hopefully make a friend.

Her: Is that LulaRoe that you're wearing?

Me: Yes! (oh my heck, am I making a friend?!)

Her: Oh. It's such an internet trend now. It'll more than likely die out soon, don't you think?

OH, LORD. HELP ME. WHY ARE THESE MOMS SO MEAN?

My third and final attempt with a mom during that practice.

Her: Hi, you're the team mom, right?

Me: Yes, I'm Jessica! Nice to meet you.

Her: I saw that email coach sent about needing one. God bless you for doing it. I'm just SO BUSY with all of the kids at home. Good luck to you!

OH, YOU KNOW. I'M NOT BUSY AT ALL WITH RAISING TWINS, HAVING A FULL-TIME JOB, AND COACHING DANCE TEAM. HAPPY TO HELP! ::EYE ROLL::

Me: We could always use extra help in the dugout! You can enroll online to get your badge so we can have more adults helping the little ones!

Her: You know, I'm okay. Let me know if you need money for the banner or parade.

I listened to other conversations amongst the women that evening, and the following day at the next practice. It was mostly conversation about the schools their kids attend, the awards/activities their kids participate in, or the businesses their husbands work for. I felt like I was in a movie.

I may sound like a whiner, but I cannot handle these uppity-nose-in-air-moms who seem to only care about themselves and their own. I have complained about this to Christopher and I've come to realize that it's the true working class that gets things done. I may live in this zip code, and I'm assigned to this team because of where I live, but I will never forget the true meaning of humility, teamwork, and empathy. I never want another person to feel like I've one-upped them. I never want to have a conversation where it feels competitive. It's just senseless.

So...I'll stick to the dugout this season. Anyone on the team that wants to get their hands dirty with me will be appreciated. Welcome to the grey-collared life, friends. WISH ME LUCK, AND PLAAAAAYYYYY BALL!

P.S. I'm not nervous about any of them finding my blog, because I will never befriend these people on social media. And if they do find this blog, and don't find me funny, then they suck even more. :P